I've done it!

   I can't believe it! I've actually done it. I haven't been caught yet. I doubt I've even been reported missing; they don't care enough about me. I'm sitting in some library in London and I feel so free. My bruises have gone. I'd almost forgotten what skin should look like normally. It feels great. I don't go by my real name anymore, just in case anybody turns me in. I don't know why they would but it never hurts to be too careful. So much has happened and I have to apologise for not posting anything for so long. I've been too scared to go out in public much and I've spent as much of my time as possible sitting in backstreets and sleeping in the parks.
   There hasn't really been an awful lot of snow but I've heard people saying that the snow is really deep back up North, especially in Glasgow. It's still absolutely freezing but I don't mind too much. I know that it's nearly Christmas and you should see how busy all the shops are down here. Everybody needs something and they don't care how many people they have to shove out the way to get there. I'm trying my best to blend in. I've also discovered that I'm not all that bad at doing an English accent.
   There are lots of gangs around here and everything has to be done with caution. If I get chased by a gang, no doubt the police will want to talk to me abiout it. If I get into a fight with a gang, I'm in big trouble. I haven't been trying to make many friends; I'm too nervous to trust anyone. Honestly, that's so pathetic. I've been away for months now and I can't work up the courage to trust anybody. I really annoy myself sometimes.
   I'm really sorry about the long wait but, like I said, I've been trying to blend into the shadows.

God Bless


Getting Out Of Here!

   They came back on tuesday. Thankfully, they didn't notice anything was wrong but I'm still getting beaten almost every night. Tonight though, as soon as they're asleep, I am getting out of here. I have everything I need. I'll write ASAP, I promise.
   I know I said I was going to wait until after Hallowe'en but that isn't an option anymore. Melissa told one of my teachers and I have been living in terror that she's going to contact my mum and dad about it. So, I'm leaving tonight. I spent all day packing and unpacking and repacking my backpack, just to make sure. I don't think I'll need anything else and as soon as I reach the border, I should be safe.
   Thanks for reading. I hope you are always loved and protected. If you are, don't take it for granted; some people aren't as lucky!

May God Be With You

It's been nearly a week...

   Wow! I hadn't realised it'd been that long since I last posted. I have so much to tell you. I've had a party. I didn't particularly want one but somehow word got out that my parents were away and almost everybody in my year came round on wednesday night. They brought loads of food and stuff with them (and alcohol) and stayed until the later hours of the next morning. I didn't stay at the party. I knew what would happen. The police would come round; I wouldn't know what to say to them but they'd keep asking questions anyway. I was worried they might find my mum's drugs and start asking awkward questions I couldn't answer.
   I hoped the police wouldn't blame the party on me if I wasn't actually there. I told Melissa I was going out for a bit so that I would have proof if the police did come knocking that I hadn't actually been there. I wandered the streets with my backpack (I haven't let go of it ever since I got back) for ages and I could hear the music from the party 3 streets away. Then, after quite a few hours, I saw a police car heading down the street towards my house. There were two uniformed police officers in it; a man who was driving and a woman in the passenger seat. I just walked past them as casually as I could, pretending I hadn't seen them but I couldn't help staring after them to see if they turned the corner to my street (which they did).
   I didn't know what to do. I couldn't go back but I didn't really have anywhere else to go. I started running then, I wanted to be as far away from my house as possible. I ended up in the town centre, looking in all the closed shop windows. I almost ran past the police station but managed to stop myself. I knew how suspicious that would look. So, I started to wander back to my house to find out if the party had stopped because the police had been and I passed the police car again on the way there. This time, it drew up beside me and the police woman rolled down her window.
   She asked me what I was doing out at this time of night on my own. And the policeman, thinking he was absolutely hilarious piped up "Not running away again I hope. After what happened thast time!" And then he started laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. I told them I'd felt sick and needed to get some fresh air to clear my head. Thankfully, they accepted that as my excuse as, after telling me to be careful, went on their way. I didn't go back to my house just in case. I went to the park instead and lay down on a bench. I looked up at the stars for a bit and made a wish on the North Star. I always follow the North Star when I'm running away so it seems lucky to make wishes on it.
   Anyway, before I knew it, I'd fallen asleep and the next thing I knew it was morning. I didn't really want to go back but I had to make sure they hadn't done anything stupid, like take my mum's drungs. If they did that and one of them ended up in hospital (or worse) I knew I'd be in so much trouble. The police already thought I was a bad child and a troublemaker so there was no way they'd believe I wasn't actually there. My only hope was the policeman and policewoman from the car and Melissa. But I still didn't know her all that well so I didn't know if she'd stick up for me in a police matter.
   It turned out that it didn't matter. The drugs were still safe and the alcohol my dad stashes under the loose floorboard are all safe. I got back and the party was just coming to an end. It was almost 9am! Everyone started to leave. They didn't stick around, thank me or even say goodbye. I'm still no higher up on the popularity scale but that doesn't really bother me. Melissa was the only one to stay behind and help me clear up. We had some breakfast and tidied up until 1pm. I was almost glad that Melissa hadn't been drinking because I didn't want her to turn out like my dad and get aggressive. Then, Melissa helped me make lunch. After that, we got bored of tidying and watched some TV instead. Melissa satyed with me for most of the day and left about 7:30pm. She told me her mum wasn't the sort to worry too much. She knew that Melissa had been at a party and had probably assumed she had fallen asleep on the couch or something.
   I've been tidying up almost obsessively for most of yeaterday and today. I'm starting to worry that I might have missed something. If my parents notice that anything is out of place, I'm a dead kid!

God Bless


They've Gone

THEY'VE GONE! THEY'VE GONE! They've finaly gone! I am home alone with absolutely nothing to worry about! Sorry, I just had to let that out. I've almost been dancing up the walls since yesterday. I triend to post yesterday but I couldn't sit still for long enough! The house feels so empty without anyone in it. I feel a bit lonely sometimes but then I remember my usual company and the problem is solved! I don't want to write much more just now, I'm going to have some fun! I have absolutely no I dea what I'm going to do when I'm here all by myself but I can do anything I want! I'm so EXCITED!!!!!

God Bless x :)


Parents Are In Spain

I'm soooo excited! It's the October week which means my parents are flying off the Spain for 10 days! Isn't it awesome! They're leaving tomorrow morning! I'm going to be completely abuse free for 10 whole days! I've never been so excited in all my life. I said I was going to wait until after Hallowe'en to run away and I stand by that especially because now I get to spend 10 whole days in my house without getting yelled at or laid into by ANYONE!!!!!
   Sorry, I got a little bit carried away but I can't help it. This is definately my favourite time of year. Mo school, no parents and nothing to worry about. I'm not worried about being alone, they leave me every year and I know how to take care of myself. I can cook, clean, chill out. I can do pretty much anything I want! I'm hoping money isn't going to be a problem. It shouldn't be but if it is I can alwsys find something to eat. I mean, I've lived rough before so this is going to be like heaven.
   I've always wondered what it would be like to go to heaven. I don't think I'll ever get there. I've been a very bad child  to my parents to make them hate me so much. I don't actually remember what it was but I must have done something! And I'm always running away so that has to go down on the list of bad things. Does "being born" count as a bad thing; because my dad sometimes yells that he wishes I'd never been born. I don't suppose getting born was my fault so that shouldn't count as a bad thing against me.

God Bless


They Found Me

Damn it!!!
   I'm back again. The police picked me up a couple of hundred miles away yesterday afternoon. Honestly, I'm so gutted. I've still got my backpack and everything in it so I'll try again as soon as they aren't really alert and aren't expecting me to run away. I'll wait until after Hallowe'en and then make a break for it.
   I've also got a problem. I accidentally let slip to Melissa about the abuse. I didn't mean it, she sort of manipulated me. She started asking all these questions and I said something that made her really suspicious. I honestly didn't mean to tell her but now she wants to know all the details. I don't want to relive it all with her and I need some advice on how to convince her I was lying. She says that if I don't tell her, she's going to tell one of the teachers.
   Also, if I run away again she'll know why. She'll tell someone and if the police pick me up and take me back home, I'll get the living daylights kicked out of me again. I only have tonight to figure out a solution to this withut losing the only friend I have.

God Bless


Leave A Comment

One more thing before I go. I've noticed that there is someone in Ireland who reads my blog a lot. I'd like to thank them for their support and urge them to leave a comment with feedback. I have a question for this person. Do you have a blog? I'd like to read it if you do. Please leave me the web address in a comment (if you decide to leave one) and I'll get back to you.
   One again, thank you soooo much. Bye.

May God Bless You

I'm Leaving Tonight

Stuff waiting until after Christmas! I'm getting out of here tonight. I've got everything I need and I am ready to leave as soon as everyone falls asleep tonight. I at least had the decency to write them a note explaining everything but I had a hard time writing it. I know exactly what to say on here but when I started writing that letter, my mind went blank. I had absolutely no idea what I was going to say. In the end, I wrote about how what they had done to me was wrong and that I felt really bad about it. It ended up baing much shorter than I intended but I think I got my point across.
   I can't wait for tonight. I've planned sooo carefully this time; I don't want anything to go wrong. I'd be gutted if I was found the next morning. I know the odds are a million-to-one but I live in hope of finally escaping. There are lots of backstreets around where I live and I've explored them lots of times so I should be able to make my way along those and stop for a sleep in this old warehouse that's falling to bits. It's about 23 miles away but I've walked further than that before. Besides, the further away I get tonight, the better chance I have of staying away for longer.
   I plan to sleep for most of the morning there and move on again at around lunchtime. My parents won't notice I'm gone until around teatime so that should give me the chance to get a good few miles away. I've got plenty of food and water because I know I'll be travelling across countryside from time to time. But, I have tried very hard not to bring anything but the everyday essentials (The Bare Necessities!) and I think I've done quite well.
   Anyway, I'm going to leave you now and try to get some sleep now so that I'm ready and alert for later. I've set my alarm for midnight but even though my parents won't go to bed until about two. This should give me enough time to put on lots of clothes and make sure I have everything ready. I'm sorry about this but you might not hear from me for a while for obvious reasons because it would be too risky to show my face in very public places until I've gotten quite far away and the whole "missing person" thing has died down a little.

Wish me luck!

May God Bless You Always And Forever

HPV Vaccination

Thank goodness school's over for the weeked! I don't think I can take anymore of the silent mocking me behind my back. Honestly, all I did was panic a little when I had to get an injection. Okay, I paniced a LOT but I still went through with it. Ivy didn't. She simply refused; telling everyone that she wouldn't follow anyone else and that she wanted to be different.
   Sorry, I'm not explaining myself very well. I got my HPV Vaccination today and I was quite scared. This is due to things which have happened in the past that I would rather not mention, so please don't ask. I did get my injection but, like I said, Ivy refused to. She was scared. I could see that but she just insisted that she was being different.
   I've decided that it wouldn't be safe for me to leave home until after Christmas because this is the time of year my parents have to work a lot late at night because the company gets lots of orders this time of year. You know, people wanting to have a laugh at a Christmas party. Anyway, I wouldn't be able to sneak out of the house during the night if they are not here because they will want to "see" me as soon as they come in to make me sorry for everything I've ever done wrong.
   I've sort-of started wondering if going back into care would be such a bad thing. Even if I was seriously considering it, I don't know how I would go about it. You have to remember that the authorities have me down as a lier, a runaway and a troublemaker. They consider my parents to be loving and caring people who obviously think the world of me. I can't compete with that.
   I'm open to suggestions so please get in touch. I'm desperate. Thank you soo much!!!

God Bless Your Lives


Calling ChildLine Again

Wow! It seems like ages since I posted. Even though it's only been 5 days. I suppose that is almost a week and a week could be classed as a long time depending on what you're talking about. For example, a week would be a long time if that was how long it look you to have a shower. Then again, a week wouldn't be a long time to do homework from every single subject. Sorry, I'm rambling.
   Anyway, I did call ChildLine and I freaked out again! That is really unlike me! I don't understand it. I couldn't say anything the second time. I just had to hang up because I couldn't get any words out. But, I called again last night and, this time, I managed to say something to the girl who answered the call. When I started telling her things, I didn't say everything at first. Just bit by bit. I was too worried my parents might hear me to say anything much. But, finally, I couldn't hld it in anymore and I told her almost everything. I answered her questions and she suggested I speak to one of my teachers. I'm going to try talking to my Music teacher about it but, I'm worried I'll freak out again. I guess I won't know until I try so here's hoping...

God Bless


Calling ChildLine

Blogger kicked me off the site yesterday. I'd just finished writing a post and I tried to post it but it came up with system error and wouldn't let me on for the rest of the night! I was gutted. When I logged on again today, the draft had been deleted! :(
   I phoned Childline last night. It was one of the most frightening things I have ever done. First, a recorded message played telling me to either press 1 (if I was calling from Northern Ireland) or hold. I won't tell you which of these I did because that would help you narrow it down and I don't want that. Anyway, a woman picked up the phone and told me I was through to Childline. She asked me if I wanted to speak to a councillor, I said yes and she said she'd put me through. The phone rang for ages with little messages every so often apologising for the delay. I waited; I wasn't going to hang up now.
   Then someone answered. It was a woman, she sounded young. And, I froze. I couldn't say anything. I was almost crying with the effort of saying anything. She told me to take my time so I took a deep breath and said I couldn't so it. I apologised and she said it was fine. She told me to think about what I wanted to say and call back when I was ready. I haven't called back yet. I'm going to try again tonight. I'll try very hard not to freak out again.
   I don't understand. That wasn't like me at all. Lilly used to say I could talk for Britain, and I could. I still can but I don't. I have to concentrate on being happy all the time. I used to make everyone laugh when I first started High School. When I had lots of friends. Not now though.

May God Bless Your Souls


I was in Hospital

Sorry I haven't posted in a while but I was in hospital. It's a bit of a long story so I'll start from the beginning...

On Thursday afternoon, when I got home from school, my mum got really mad with me. She was hitting me and shouting at me and she locked me in the cupboard for 2 hours. This wasn't too much of a shock but, when she let me out I was shaking anyway. She started laying into me again until she'd gotten rid of all her anger. I ran outside for a bit of breathing space when I suddenly felt really dizzy. My mum had hit me really hard across the head and it was really sore. I didn't get further that two streets away when I fell over and knocked myself unconcious. Either that or I passed out, I'm not sure.
   I woke up in hospital later that night and I asked the nurse how I'd gotten there. She told me that someone had found me on the street as they were passing by and had called an ambulance. Thay told me I had concussion and I had to stay in the hospital for a few days. When they asked me what had happened to me, I was completely lost for words. I had absolutely no idea what to say! I mumbled something about not remembering anything but I don't think they bought it.
   Oh well, I'm back now. My parents are as merciless as always. Nothing much else is new.

God Bless


New Friend

My maths teacher asked this question today...

"At exactly 12 hours, 34 minutes and 56 seconds on the 8th of September 2010, what is missing?"

It was really cool becauuse it turned out to be the 7! 12:34.56 8/9/10. See, there is no 7 inbetween the 6 and the 8. I spent ages trying to figure this one out. Anyway, I have some great news, well it's great news for me. I have a friend!
   Her name is Melissa. She's the quietest girl ever, you wouldn't even know she was in the classroom if the teacher didn't point at her to answer a question. No-one sits beside her but my English teacher moved her to sit beside me. She didn't ignore me when I spoke to her, in fact, she was perfectly friendly. After class, we started hanging around together and I'm going over to her house just now. She says she is going to teach me how to skateboard! I'm so excited!
   Right now, I'm looking for any excuse to be out of the house anyway. My dad refused to stay in hospital and he came home on Sunday. All he can do is lie on the couch with my mum waiting on his every need. That is why I haven't been posting for a few days, I can't get near the computer at all. I tried going to the library but Ivy has started hanging around outside it because she knows I go there a lot. Right now, my dad's asleep and my mum is in the kitchen, making them dinner. She isn't making anything for me so nothing has changed.
   I have to go. Melissa's just phoned and she's told me to go over to her house now.

God Bless x


Runaway List

I've got a list of things I'll need for running away and I'm trying to collect them. It's quite surprising how little the amount of things I have from that list is, considering they're supposed to be everyday essentials. So far, I have:-

- Binbags (for raincoats etc...)
- Lots of Clothes
- Water
- Money (I'm still saving every penny)
- Scissors
- Facecloth and Soap
- Trainers
- "Weapon"
- Hairbrush
- Elastics
- Anti-perspirant
- Bandages and Plasters
- Toothbrush and Toothpaste
- Needle and Thread
- Torch
- Pens/Pencils
- Jewellery (to sell)

That's pretty much it. I don't even have a decent back pack to put them all in. I've got plenty of money so I'll try to go out tomorrow and get a good quality backpack to hold it all. I don't think th UK has any "camping laws" so this should be resonably safe. This might sound daft but I'm going to take my Jessie doll with me too. She's the perfect companion perfect because she'll keep me company and I'll still only have one mouth to feed.
   Thank goodness we have a long weekend and I don't have to go back to school until Tuesday! And, my parents are still at the hospital, so my house isn't dangerous any more. I've decided to stop calling this place home because it should make it easier to leave it behind and start calling the streets "home". Isn't there a saying street people have:-

"I have a home; I just don't have a house."

God Bless


Dad's in Hospital

Sorry I didn't post anything yesterday but I was too sore. When I got back from school, my dad was already back and had me running around everywhere. When my mum got home, she wanted me to do different things and I didn't have time to do what my mum wanted and what my dad wanted so I did what my dad wanted because he asked first. My mum went nuts and started yelling at me and hitting me. My dad came running in and started shouting about how I should always obey my mother and started hitting me too.
   Never mind all that though. I'll tell you about what happened this morning. My dad fell down the stairs. I know I shouldn't be happy about that but he's broken his leg and he's out cold in hopspital. He has to stay there for a few weeks and my mum won't leave his side until she absolutely has to. That means they're hardly ever home so I might manage to start gathering my things for running without them getting suspicious!
   Other than that, today wasn't very entertaining. I'm in the library just now and thought I may as well post this now in case I don't get a chance tonight.

God Bless



Nothing else did happen last night. In the end, my parents slept for the rest of the day and all through the night. When I woke up this morning, my dad was still passed out on the couch but at least it meant he couldn't shout at me. I made some toast and ran out of the door to go to school.
   School was horrible. I had all the worst subjects: maths, science and geography! P.E made up for it though! We played basketball and I actually managed to get the ball in the net! A first! The team still slagged me off for missing it three times so it wasn't totally awesome. Oh well, you can't have everything I suppose.
   Coming home from school, I did my usual trick of taking two steps forward and one stap back. This earns me lots of strange looks from the other kids but I know they only hate me because they don't understand. I started daydreaming as I walked (forgetting where I was going) and ended up almost getting run over by my P.E teacher on one of the quieter streets. She stopped to check I was okay, telling me I was away with the fairies. Once she knew I was fine, she said goodbye and carried on. It was only then I realsised just how quiet that street was. I didn't pass a single car the whole rest of the way down it.
   When I arrived home, my dad had finally come round and left. I made myself comfy on the couch and watched some TV; something I don't get to do very often. I watched Toy Story 2 on one of the channels and cried all over again when Jessie's owner threw her away. Remember when I was telling you about Jessie, my doll? Well, she's a Jessie doll from that film. I fell in love with Toy Story the moment I saw the first one and became more than a little obsessed with Jessie when I had watched the second one. I watched them at my friend Lilly's house (back when I still had friends) in England and I loved it.
   Anyway, I didn't do much else for the rest of the day. I liked being able to relax without worrying about what would happen if my mum or dad opened the door and caught me watching TV instead of doing my homework or something else difficult. I read some of my mum's "childhood books" as she calls them and suddenly had a thought. I liked reading so why not do it more. I walked down to the local library and started reading a book called "Run Zan Run" by Catherine MacPhail. It was really good. In fact, it was so good I couldn't put it down. I had to keep reading until the end. I found it was easy for me to relate to both Katie and Zan because both of them do through similar problems to mine. Katie is bullied at school and Zan runs away from home. I won't tell you too much about it in case I spoil it. You should try reading it; it's very good. :) I especially liked the end and I actually gasped out loud (causing the librarien to glare at me) and started reading at lightning speed because I was so deperate to know what was going to happen.
   Once I'd finished reading I went back home and found my mum and dad watching TV in the living room. I decided not to disturb them and wen't upstairs. I don't think they've realised I'm home yet and here's hoping they don't ever notice so I can have a peaceful night tonight. Fingers crossed.

May God Watch Over You


Playing With Dollies

I escaped early this morning to go to church. I don't particularly like church, but I feel safe there. To be honest, I feel safe anywhere except home. I sang all the hymns from the little book even though I didn't really know the tune to most of them and lots of people glared at me for going off key. So, I whispered the words to myself instead.
   I couldn't go for Communion but I went out for a blessing. I don't think I deserved it though; planning to run away from home and all. When Mass was over, I walked around town for a bit. There wasn't much to do because all the shops were closed and the gangs of boys were spray painting rude messages on the walls and shutters. I knew from experience that staying here would be a bad idea. Before I even had time to think, the police would have pounced on me.
   I wandered aimlessly for another two hours before returning home to a till silent house. My parents had been out all night (drinking no doubt) and hadn't come back yet. I found myself wishing I'd been ready to make a run for it when my dad staggered in, brushed past me without looking at me and collapsed on the couch, snoring loudly. I crept upstairs, careful not to wake him and sat down on my bed. I reached under my bed and pulled out Jessie, a doll I'd bought myself as a birthday present this year. I know I sound like a baby, cuddling dolls in my bedroom but I find she comforts me by just being there. She's the Best Friend I've never had.
   That's all that's happened so far today. My dad's still passed out on the couch and Jessie is still sitting on my knee as I'm typing this. If anything else happens tonight, I'll let you know but I expect the same treatment as last night when my mum shakes my dad awake tonight and he realised he hasn't eaten yet.

God Bless



I went to bed last night aching all over from the pounding I got last night. I woke up this morning with bruises all over my arms and lots of huge scratches from my mum's claw-like nails. Sometimes, I think she grows them extra-long just to hurt me with them. Weekends are usually worse than weekdays because I can't escape by going to school.
   Today wasn't as bad as most weekends, my parents slept late as usual so took the money they'd left on the table and wen't out to buy things for their breakfast. I knew I wouldn't get any of the hot breakfast I was going to make for the two of them but I also knew I would be much worse off if I didn't make it. So, instead of going straight to the shops, I went down to the park for a bit. It was still really early so there weren't many people there but I like it that way. There's nobody to judge me or make fun of me or anything like that.
   I don't have any friends at school because I was the "New Girl" at first and now everyone calls me the "Weird Girl" becasue I'm different and I'm always getting into trouble for something. I remember getting bullied and reporting it to one of my teachers. After a few weeks, she got bored of me telling her about what was happening (even though she had specifically told me to report EVERYTHING) and decided that the bully must be having problems at home if she was doing this kind of thing. Have you ever noticed that adults always do that? They turn the problem around and start worrying about the bully instead of the child who is being bullied. Why do they do it? I don't know but it's very annoying!
   Anyway, while I was at the park, I felt totally free and alone. I really liked that feeling of being able to do and say anything I wanted without getting picked on or beaten up. I felt completely relaxed for the first time in ages. So, after staying for as long as I could, I went to the shops to buy the breakfast stuff. When I got home, my parents still weren't up but I knew they would want to eat as soon as they were awake so I got started.
   The rest of the day was pretty normal. I said I was going out for a while and they agreed just to get rid of me. I wandered the streets for a while, straying far, far away from my house. I walked into the next town, not actually going anywhere in particular and wandered around Tesco. Now, there's only so much you can do in Tesco without any money before the security guard thinks you're "hanging around" and threatens to kick you out if you don't buy something. I left the shop as soon as I noticed he seemed to be following me around.
   I took my time going home, taking two steps forward and one step back. I stopped at the park again on my way but it was nothing like this morning. It was really crowded and almost everyone in my class were huddled together in their little groups of friends. None of them asked me to join (not that I really expected them to) so I continued on my way. When I arrived home, my parents had already left for work so I busied myself with searching the internet for any tips on running away successfully. All I found were lots of people telling me how dangerous it is on the streets, no-one was very helpful.

May God be with you everywhere you go.


Foster Care

I remember going into Foster Care once. That was when we lived in the South of England. My parents were proven to be abusive and I was taken away by Social Services. It was really scary at first, I don't want to write about what it was like when I was just waiting, stuck in the middle. They quickly found me a Foster Family who weren't much better than my real parents. Thay didn't beat me but they treated me like I was something the cat had dragged in. Even the cat hated me!
   I ran away from Foster Care once and Social Services decided it was safe for me to return home and I was clearly not liking Foster Care. I thought this was pretty obvious but they thought I had been trying to return home when I ran away so they took me back home with promises to "moniter the situation" and never did. So, instead of being far away and getting further by the minute, I was shoved right back home, exactly where I didn't want to be.
   My parents then decided to move back to Scotland (where we were originally from) and settled there with a clean record with Social. It was then I started running away without success. Everyone started calling me a bad child for making my parents so worried and thought it was all my fault. This made it much harder to get people to believe me when I tried to get help so I started planning my escape more carefully.
   Now, I have decided to run away to a better place. I've been scouring websites for anything that might help me and have found lots of useful information. If you have anything that might help, please leave me a comment or send me an email. Preferrably email because it is more private and no-one will be able to trace me using this blog. Thank you for understanding. My email address should be displayed somewhere so get in touch.

God Bless

Typical Day

Life has been pretty normal today. This is my first day of blogging and I hope you enjoy reading about my experiences.

   I woke up this morning to screaming and yelling from downstairs. My mum was shouting that she was the one under a lot of pressure at work and that my dad was just being soft while my dad was protesting that she was a lazy slob who couldn't hold down a job for long enough. They both work for the same people. The people the work for are dangerous; they work with illegal drugs, selling and trading them and transporting them overseas. I don't see why I shouldn't post that as no-one will ever find out my identity.
   Anyway, after waiting until the door slammed twice as they both left for work at their separate times, I had breakfast and headed off to school. School was pretty normal, we played Hockey in P.E, read a book in English and did some group performing in Music. We were studying Hip Hop and played a song called "I'll be missing you".
   When I got home, my parents weren't back yet so I let myself in with the key under the doormat. I got something to eat and decided to confine myself to my room for as long as possible to avoid any arguments that could turn physical. Unfortunately, this didn't work out and my mum started calling for me as soon as she was in. I was running errands for the rest of the afternoon before my dad came home in a bad mood. He started shouting at me, telling me that I was useless and that I would never amount to anything. Then he started punching me, reminding me with every blow that it was my fault he suffered at work and I should stop being such a bad influence on the neighberhood kids.
   He was referring to the many other times I have attempted to run away and been found by the police. They have now classed me as a "problem child", a bad child and don't believe anything I say. If I went to social services again, my parents would deny everything and they would assume I was telling lies. Adults never listen; if I've learned anything from this, it's that!
   I'm now sittting at the computer while my parents are out drinking. I went to bed last night with loads of fresh bruises and they didn't even hit me that hard yesterday so goodness only knows what I'm going to look like in the morning. So, this was a typical day in my house. I hope none of you ever have to go through this.

God Bless

Helpful Websites for Children/Teenagers.

These websites can help you with your problems, I urge you to try them before you attempt to run away. I have tried everything I can think of and have resorted to running away as a final option...

I hope this helps. I have also found a website on which a man called Mike tells his story of meeting a runaway girl called Sandy...
That's all for now...

God Bless

Life At Home

Living at home gets diffficult for eveyone and I'm sure all of you have fallen out with parents at some time in your lives. Very few children experience abuse and neglect but the few that do know what a hard life is. Many, like me, try for years and years to find a solution. Finally, I have reached my decision: Running Away.

Now, I'm sure almost everyone reading this thnks I am just a stupid and immature child with nothing better to do than run away for fun, but a few of you will understand and I thank those few for taking the time to think and realise what I am dealing with. I pray that none of you will ever have to deal with this kind of thing but I think some of you must be already. There are lots of websites you can try if you are going through this, but none of the solutions have worked for me. They may work for you though. I'll include a list of websites in my next post.

From now on, I will keep this blog up to date about life at home and, if I succeed in running away, life on the run. Thank you all for taking the time to read this; may all of you lead a long and happy life.

May God Bless You All