Blogger kicked me off the site yesterday. I'd just finished writing a post and I tried to post it but it came up with system error and wouldn't let me on for the rest of the night! I was gutted. When I logged on again today, the draft had been deleted! :(
I phoned Childline last night. It was one of the most frightening things I have ever done. First, a recorded message played telling me to either press 1 (if I was calling from Northern Ireland) or hold. I won't tell you which of these I did because that would help you narrow it down and I don't want that. Anyway, a woman picked up the phone and told me I was through to Childline. She asked me if I wanted to speak to a councillor, I said yes and she said she'd put me through. The phone rang for ages with little messages every so often apologising for the delay. I waited; I wasn't going to hang up now.
Then someone answered. It was a woman, she sounded young. And, I froze. I couldn't say anything. I was almost crying with the effort of saying anything. She told me to take my time so I took a deep breath and said I couldn't so it. I apologised and she said it was fine. She told me to think about what I wanted to say and call back when I was ready. I haven't called back yet. I'm going to try again tonight. I'll try very hard not to freak out again.
I don't understand. That wasn't like me at all. Lilly used to say I could talk for Britain, and I could. I still can but I don't. I have to concentrate on being happy all the time. I used to make everyone laugh when I first started High School. When I had lots of friends. Not now though.
May God Bless Your Souls