Nothing else did happen last night. In the end, my parents slept for the rest of the day and all through the night. When I woke up this morning, my dad was still passed out on the couch but at least it meant he couldn't shout at me. I made some toast and ran out of the door to go to school.
School was horrible. I had all the worst subjects: maths, science and geography! P.E made up for it though! We played basketball and I actually managed to get the ball in the net! A first! The team still slagged me off for missing it three times so it wasn't totally awesome. Oh well, you can't have everything I suppose.
Coming home from school, I did my usual trick of taking two steps forward and one stap back. This earns me lots of strange looks from the other kids but I know they only hate me because they don't understand. I started daydreaming as I walked (forgetting where I was going) and ended up almost getting run over by my P.E teacher on one of the quieter streets. She stopped to check I was okay, telling me I was away with the fairies. Once she knew I was fine, she said goodbye and carried on. It was only then I realsised just how quiet that street was. I didn't pass a single car the whole rest of the way down it.
When I arrived home, my dad had finally come round and left. I made myself comfy on the couch and watched some TV; something I don't get to do very often. I watched Toy Story 2 on one of the channels and cried all over again when Jessie's owner threw her away. Remember when I was telling you about Jessie, my doll? Well, she's a Jessie doll from that film. I fell in love with Toy Story the moment I saw the first one and became more than a little obsessed with Jessie when I had watched the second one. I watched them at my friend Lilly's house (back when I still had friends) in England and I loved it.
Anyway, I didn't do much else for the rest of the day. I liked being able to relax without worrying about what would happen if my mum or dad opened the door and caught me watching TV instead of doing my homework or something else difficult. I read some of my mum's "childhood books" as she calls them and suddenly had a thought. I liked reading so why not do it more. I walked down to the local library and started reading a book called "Run Zan Run" by Catherine MacPhail. It was really good. In fact, it was so good I couldn't put it down. I had to keep reading until the end. I found it was easy for me to relate to both Katie and Zan because both of them do through similar problems to mine. Katie is bullied at school and Zan runs away from home. I won't tell you too much about it in case I spoil it. You should try reading it; it's very good. :) I especially liked the end and I actually gasped out loud (causing the librarien to glare at me) and started reading at lightning speed because I was so deperate to know what was going to happen.
Once I'd finished reading I went back home and found my mum and dad watching TV in the living room. I decided not to disturb them and wen't upstairs. I don't think they've realised I'm home yet and here's hoping they don't ever notice so I can have a peaceful night tonight. Fingers crossed.
May God Watch Over You
Tuesday
Sunday
Playing With Dollies
I escaped early this morning to go to church. I don't particularly like church, but I feel safe there. To be honest, I feel safe anywhere except home. I sang all the hymns from the little book even though I didn't really know the tune to most of them and lots of people glared at me for going off key. So, I whispered the words to myself instead.
I couldn't go for Communion but I went out for a blessing. I don't think I deserved it though; planning to run away from home and all. When Mass was over, I walked around town for a bit. There wasn't much to do because all the shops were closed and the gangs of boys were spray painting rude messages on the walls and shutters. I knew from experience that staying here would be a bad idea. Before I even had time to think, the police would have pounced on me.
I wandered aimlessly for another two hours before returning home to a till silent house. My parents had been out all night (drinking no doubt) and hadn't come back yet. I found myself wishing I'd been ready to make a run for it when my dad staggered in, brushed past me without looking at me and collapsed on the couch, snoring loudly. I crept upstairs, careful not to wake him and sat down on my bed. I reached under my bed and pulled out Jessie, a doll I'd bought myself as a birthday present this year. I know I sound like a baby, cuddling dolls in my bedroom but I find she comforts me by just being there. She's the Best Friend I've never had.
That's all that's happened so far today. My dad's still passed out on the couch and Jessie is still sitting on my knee as I'm typing this. If anything else happens tonight, I'll let you know but I expect the same treatment as last night when my mum shakes my dad awake tonight and he realised he hasn't eaten yet.
God Bless
I couldn't go for Communion but I went out for a blessing. I don't think I deserved it though; planning to run away from home and all. When Mass was over, I walked around town for a bit. There wasn't much to do because all the shops were closed and the gangs of boys were spray painting rude messages on the walls and shutters. I knew from experience that staying here would be a bad idea. Before I even had time to think, the police would have pounced on me.
I wandered aimlessly for another two hours before returning home to a till silent house. My parents had been out all night (drinking no doubt) and hadn't come back yet. I found myself wishing I'd been ready to make a run for it when my dad staggered in, brushed past me without looking at me and collapsed on the couch, snoring loudly. I crept upstairs, careful not to wake him and sat down on my bed. I reached under my bed and pulled out Jessie, a doll I'd bought myself as a birthday present this year. I know I sound like a baby, cuddling dolls in my bedroom but I find she comforts me by just being there. She's the Best Friend I've never had.
That's all that's happened so far today. My dad's still passed out on the couch and Jessie is still sitting on my knee as I'm typing this. If anything else happens tonight, I'll let you know but I expect the same treatment as last night when my mum shakes my dad awake tonight and he realised he hasn't eaten yet.
God Bless
Saturday
Bullying
I went to bed last night aching all over from the pounding I got last night. I woke up this morning with bruises all over my arms and lots of huge scratches from my mum's claw-like nails. Sometimes, I think she grows them extra-long just to hurt me with them. Weekends are usually worse than weekdays because I can't escape by going to school.
Today wasn't as bad as most weekends, my parents slept late as usual so took the money they'd left on the table and wen't out to buy things for their breakfast. I knew I wouldn't get any of the hot breakfast I was going to make for the two of them but I also knew I would be much worse off if I didn't make it. So, instead of going straight to the shops, I went down to the park for a bit. It was still really early so there weren't many people there but I like it that way. There's nobody to judge me or make fun of me or anything like that.
I don't have any friends at school because I was the "New Girl" at first and now everyone calls me the "Weird Girl" becasue I'm different and I'm always getting into trouble for something. I remember getting bullied and reporting it to one of my teachers. After a few weeks, she got bored of me telling her about what was happening (even though she had specifically told me to report EVERYTHING) and decided that the bully must be having problems at home if she was doing this kind of thing. Have you ever noticed that adults always do that? They turn the problem around and start worrying about the bully instead of the child who is being bullied. Why do they do it? I don't know but it's very annoying!
Anyway, while I was at the park, I felt totally free and alone. I really liked that feeling of being able to do and say anything I wanted without getting picked on or beaten up. I felt completely relaxed for the first time in ages. So, after staying for as long as I could, I went to the shops to buy the breakfast stuff. When I got home, my parents still weren't up but I knew they would want to eat as soon as they were awake so I got started.
The rest of the day was pretty normal. I said I was going out for a while and they agreed just to get rid of me. I wandered the streets for a while, straying far, far away from my house. I walked into the next town, not actually going anywhere in particular and wandered around Tesco. Now, there's only so much you can do in Tesco without any money before the security guard thinks you're "hanging around" and threatens to kick you out if you don't buy something. I left the shop as soon as I noticed he seemed to be following me around.
I took my time going home, taking two steps forward and one step back. I stopped at the park again on my way but it was nothing like this morning. It was really crowded and almost everyone in my class were huddled together in their little groups of friends. None of them asked me to join (not that I really expected them to) so I continued on my way. When I arrived home, my parents had already left for work so I busied myself with searching the internet for any tips on running away successfully. All I found were lots of people telling me how dangerous it is on the streets, no-one was very helpful.
May God be with you everywhere you go.
Today wasn't as bad as most weekends, my parents slept late as usual so took the money they'd left on the table and wen't out to buy things for their breakfast. I knew I wouldn't get any of the hot breakfast I was going to make for the two of them but I also knew I would be much worse off if I didn't make it. So, instead of going straight to the shops, I went down to the park for a bit. It was still really early so there weren't many people there but I like it that way. There's nobody to judge me or make fun of me or anything like that.
I don't have any friends at school because I was the "New Girl" at first and now everyone calls me the "Weird Girl" becasue I'm different and I'm always getting into trouble for something. I remember getting bullied and reporting it to one of my teachers. After a few weeks, she got bored of me telling her about what was happening (even though she had specifically told me to report EVERYTHING) and decided that the bully must be having problems at home if she was doing this kind of thing. Have you ever noticed that adults always do that? They turn the problem around and start worrying about the bully instead of the child who is being bullied. Why do they do it? I don't know but it's very annoying!
Anyway, while I was at the park, I felt totally free and alone. I really liked that feeling of being able to do and say anything I wanted without getting picked on or beaten up. I felt completely relaxed for the first time in ages. So, after staying for as long as I could, I went to the shops to buy the breakfast stuff. When I got home, my parents still weren't up but I knew they would want to eat as soon as they were awake so I got started.
The rest of the day was pretty normal. I said I was going out for a while and they agreed just to get rid of me. I wandered the streets for a while, straying far, far away from my house. I walked into the next town, not actually going anywhere in particular and wandered around Tesco. Now, there's only so much you can do in Tesco without any money before the security guard thinks you're "hanging around" and threatens to kick you out if you don't buy something. I left the shop as soon as I noticed he seemed to be following me around.
I took my time going home, taking two steps forward and one step back. I stopped at the park again on my way but it was nothing like this morning. It was really crowded and almost everyone in my class were huddled together in their little groups of friends. None of them asked me to join (not that I really expected them to) so I continued on my way. When I arrived home, my parents had already left for work so I busied myself with searching the internet for any tips on running away successfully. All I found were lots of people telling me how dangerous it is on the streets, no-one was very helpful.
May God be with you everywhere you go.
Friday
Foster Care
I remember going into Foster Care once. That was when we lived in the South of England. My parents were proven to be abusive and I was taken away by Social Services. It was really scary at first, I don't want to write about what it was like when I was just waiting, stuck in the middle. They quickly found me a Foster Family who weren't much better than my real parents. Thay didn't beat me but they treated me like I was something the cat had dragged in. Even the cat hated me!
I ran away from Foster Care once and Social Services decided it was safe for me to return home and I was clearly not liking Foster Care. I thought this was pretty obvious but they thought I had been trying to return home when I ran away so they took me back home with promises to "moniter the situation" and never did. So, instead of being far away and getting further by the minute, I was shoved right back home, exactly where I didn't want to be.
My parents then decided to move back to Scotland (where we were originally from) and settled there with a clean record with Social. It was then I started running away without success. Everyone started calling me a bad child for making my parents so worried and thought it was all my fault. This made it much harder to get people to believe me when I tried to get help so I started planning my escape more carefully.
Now, I have decided to run away to a better place. I've been scouring websites for anything that might help me and have found lots of useful information. If you have anything that might help, please leave me a comment or send me an email. Preferrably email because it is more private and no-one will be able to trace me using this blog. Thank you for understanding. My email address should be displayed somewhere so get in touch.
God Bless
I ran away from Foster Care once and Social Services decided it was safe for me to return home and I was clearly not liking Foster Care. I thought this was pretty obvious but they thought I had been trying to return home when I ran away so they took me back home with promises to "moniter the situation" and never did. So, instead of being far away and getting further by the minute, I was shoved right back home, exactly where I didn't want to be.
My parents then decided to move back to Scotland (where we were originally from) and settled there with a clean record with Social. It was then I started running away without success. Everyone started calling me a bad child for making my parents so worried and thought it was all my fault. This made it much harder to get people to believe me when I tried to get help so I started planning my escape more carefully.
Now, I have decided to run away to a better place. I've been scouring websites for anything that might help me and have found lots of useful information. If you have anything that might help, please leave me a comment or send me an email. Preferrably email because it is more private and no-one will be able to trace me using this blog. Thank you for understanding. My email address should be displayed somewhere so get in touch.
God Bless
Typical Day
Life has been pretty normal today. This is my first day of blogging and I hope you enjoy reading about my experiences.
I woke up this morning to screaming and yelling from downstairs. My mum was shouting that she was the one under a lot of pressure at work and that my dad was just being soft while my dad was protesting that she was a lazy slob who couldn't hold down a job for long enough. They both work for the same people. The people the work for are dangerous; they work with illegal drugs, selling and trading them and transporting them overseas. I don't see why I shouldn't post that as no-one will ever find out my identity.
Anyway, after waiting until the door slammed twice as they both left for work at their separate times, I had breakfast and headed off to school. School was pretty normal, we played Hockey in P.E, read a book in English and did some group performing in Music. We were studying Hip Hop and played a song called "I'll be missing you".
When I got home, my parents weren't back yet so I let myself in with the key under the doormat. I got something to eat and decided to confine myself to my room for as long as possible to avoid any arguments that could turn physical. Unfortunately, this didn't work out and my mum started calling for me as soon as she was in. I was running errands for the rest of the afternoon before my dad came home in a bad mood. He started shouting at me, telling me that I was useless and that I would never amount to anything. Then he started punching me, reminding me with every blow that it was my fault he suffered at work and I should stop being such a bad influence on the neighberhood kids.
He was referring to the many other times I have attempted to run away and been found by the police. They have now classed me as a "problem child", a bad child and don't believe anything I say. If I went to social services again, my parents would deny everything and they would assume I was telling lies. Adults never listen; if I've learned anything from this, it's that!
I'm now sittting at the computer while my parents are out drinking. I went to bed last night with loads of fresh bruises and they didn't even hit me that hard yesterday so goodness only knows what I'm going to look like in the morning. So, this was a typical day in my house. I hope none of you ever have to go through this.
God Bless
I woke up this morning to screaming and yelling from downstairs. My mum was shouting that she was the one under a lot of pressure at work and that my dad was just being soft while my dad was protesting that she was a lazy slob who couldn't hold down a job for long enough. They both work for the same people. The people the work for are dangerous; they work with illegal drugs, selling and trading them and transporting them overseas. I don't see why I shouldn't post that as no-one will ever find out my identity.
Anyway, after waiting until the door slammed twice as they both left for work at their separate times, I had breakfast and headed off to school. School was pretty normal, we played Hockey in P.E, read a book in English and did some group performing in Music. We were studying Hip Hop and played a song called "I'll be missing you".
When I got home, my parents weren't back yet so I let myself in with the key under the doormat. I got something to eat and decided to confine myself to my room for as long as possible to avoid any arguments that could turn physical. Unfortunately, this didn't work out and my mum started calling for me as soon as she was in. I was running errands for the rest of the afternoon before my dad came home in a bad mood. He started shouting at me, telling me that I was useless and that I would never amount to anything. Then he started punching me, reminding me with every blow that it was my fault he suffered at work and I should stop being such a bad influence on the neighberhood kids.
He was referring to the many other times I have attempted to run away and been found by the police. They have now classed me as a "problem child", a bad child and don't believe anything I say. If I went to social services again, my parents would deny everything and they would assume I was telling lies. Adults never listen; if I've learned anything from this, it's that!
I'm now sittting at the computer while my parents are out drinking. I went to bed last night with loads of fresh bruises and they didn't even hit me that hard yesterday so goodness only knows what I'm going to look like in the morning. So, this was a typical day in my house. I hope none of you ever have to go through this.
God Bless
Helpful Websites for Children/Teenagers.
These websites can help you with your problems, I urge you to try them before you attempt to run away. I have tried everything I can think of and have resorted to running away as a final option...
http://www.runawayhelpline.org.uk/
http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx
http://www.shelter.org.uk/
I hope this helps. I have also found a website on which a man called Mike tells his story of meeting a runaway girl called Sandy...
http://hubpages.com/hub/Teen-Runaways-A-Dangerous-and-Tragic-Problem
That's all for now...
God Bless
http://www.runawayhelpline.org.uk/
http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx
http://www.shelter.org.uk/
I hope this helps. I have also found a website on which a man called Mike tells his story of meeting a runaway girl called Sandy...
http://hubpages.com/hub/Teen-Runaways-A-Dangerous-and-Tragic-Problem
That's all for now...
God Bless
Life At Home
Living at home gets diffficult for eveyone and I'm sure all of you have fallen out with parents at some time in your lives. Very few children experience abuse and neglect but the few that do know what a hard life is. Many, like me, try for years and years to find a solution. Finally, I have reached my decision: Running Away.
Now, I'm sure almost everyone reading this thnks I am just a stupid and immature child with nothing better to do than run away for fun, but a few of you will understand and I thank those few for taking the time to think and realise what I am dealing with. I pray that none of you will ever have to deal with this kind of thing but I think some of you must be already. There are lots of websites you can try if you are going through this, but none of the solutions have worked for me. They may work for you though. I'll include a list of websites in my next post.
From now on, I will keep this blog up to date about life at home and, if I succeed in running away, life on the run. Thank you all for taking the time to read this; may all of you lead a long and happy life.
May God Bless You All
Now, I'm sure almost everyone reading this thnks I am just a stupid and immature child with nothing better to do than run away for fun, but a few of you will understand and I thank those few for taking the time to think and realise what I am dealing with. I pray that none of you will ever have to deal with this kind of thing but I think some of you must be already. There are lots of websites you can try if you are going through this, but none of the solutions have worked for me. They may work for you though. I'll include a list of websites in my next post.
From now on, I will keep this blog up to date about life at home and, if I succeed in running away, life on the run. Thank you all for taking the time to read this; may all of you lead a long and happy life.
May God Bless You All
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