Rope Burns

Sorry guys. It's been a while but I've had a lot to deal with. The police on my doorstep, social workers left, right and centre. They've gone now though and I have told enough lies to last me a lietime. Anyway, I've got some burns on my wrists and I was wondering in you could tell me what degree of burn they are and if I need to get them checked out or not. Thanx.

God Bless x

I've done it!

   I can't believe it! I've actually done it. I haven't been caught yet. I doubt I've even been reported missing; they don't care enough about me. I'm sitting in some library in London and I feel so free. My bruises have gone. I'd almost forgotten what skin should look like normally. It feels great. I don't go by my real name anymore, just in case anybody turns me in. I don't know why they would but it never hurts to be too careful. So much has happened and I have to apologise for not posting anything for so long. I've been too scared to go out in public much and I've spent as much of my time as possible sitting in backstreets and sleeping in the parks.
   There hasn't really been an awful lot of snow but I've heard people saying that the snow is really deep back up North, especially in Glasgow. It's still absolutely freezing but I don't mind too much. I know that it's nearly Christmas and you should see how busy all the shops are down here. Everybody needs something and they don't care how many people they have to shove out the way to get there. I'm trying my best to blend in. I've also discovered that I'm not all that bad at doing an English accent.
   There are lots of gangs around here and everything has to be done with caution. If I get chased by a gang, no doubt the police will want to talk to me abiout it. If I get into a fight with a gang, I'm in big trouble. I haven't been trying to make many friends; I'm too nervous to trust anyone. Honestly, that's so pathetic. I've been away for months now and I can't work up the courage to trust anybody. I really annoy myself sometimes.
   I'm really sorry about the long wait but, like I said, I've been trying to blend into the shadows.

God Bless

Getting Out Of Here!

   They came back on tuesday. Thankfully, they didn't notice anything was wrong but I'm still getting beaten almost every night. Tonight though, as soon as they're asleep, I am getting out of here. I have everything I need. I'll write ASAP, I promise.
   I know I said I was going to wait until after Hallowe'en but that isn't an option anymore. Melissa told one of my teachers and I have been living in terror that she's going to contact my mum and dad about it. So, I'm leaving tonight. I spent all day packing and unpacking and repacking my backpack, just to make sure. I don't think I'll need anything else and as soon as I reach the border, I should be safe.
   Thanks for reading. I hope you are always loved and protected. If you are, don't take it for granted; some people aren't as lucky!

May God Be With You

It's been nearly a week...

   Wow! I hadn't realised it'd been that long since I last posted. I have so much to tell you. I've had a party. I didn't particularly want one but somehow word got out that my parents were away and almost everybody in my year came round on wednesday night. They brought loads of food and stuff with them (and alcohol) and stayed until the later hours of the next morning. I didn't stay at the party. I knew what would happen. The police would come round; I wouldn't know what to say to them but they'd keep asking questions anyway. I was worried they might find my mum's drugs and start asking awkward questions I couldn't answer.
   I hoped the police wouldn't blame the party on me if I wasn't actually there. I told Melissa I was going out for a bit so that I would have proof if the police did come knocking that I hadn't actually been there. I wandered the streets with my backpack (I haven't let go of it ever since I got back) for ages and I could hear the music from the party 3 streets away. Then, after quite a few hours, I saw a police car heading down the street towards my house. There were two uniformed police officers in it; a man who was driving and a woman in the passenger seat. I just walked past them as casually as I could, pretending I hadn't seen them but I couldn't help staring after them to see if they turned the corner to my street (which they did).
   I didn't know what to do. I couldn't go back but I didn't really have anywhere else to go. I started running then, I wanted to be as far away from my house as possible. I ended up in the town centre, looking in all the closed shop windows. I almost ran past the police station but managed to stop myself. I knew how suspicious that would look. So, I started to wander back to my house to find out if the party had stopped because the police had been and I passed the police car again on the way there. This time, it drew up beside me and the police woman rolled down her window.
   She asked me what I was doing out at this time of night on my own. And the policeman, thinking he was absolutely hilarious piped up "Not running away again I hope. After what happened thast time!" And then he started laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. I told them I'd felt sick and needed to get some fresh air to clear my head. Thankfully, they accepted that as my excuse as, after telling me to be careful, went on their way. I didn't go back to my house just in case. I went to the park instead and lay down on a bench. I looked up at the stars for a bit and made a wish on the North Star. I always follow the North Star when I'm running away so it seems lucky to make wishes on it.
   Anyway, before I knew it, I'd fallen asleep and the next thing I knew it was morning. I didn't really want to go back but I had to make sure they hadn't done anything stupid, like take my mum's drungs. If they did that and one of them ended up in hospital (or worse) I knew I'd be in so much trouble. The police already thought I was a bad child and a troublemaker so there was no way they'd believe I wasn't actually there. My only hope was the policeman and policewoman from the car and Melissa. But I still didn't know her all that well so I didn't know if she'd stick up for me in a police matter.
   It turned out that it didn't matter. The drugs were still safe and the alcohol my dad stashes under the loose floorboard are all safe. I got back and the party was just coming to an end. It was almost 9am! Everyone started to leave. They didn't stick around, thank me or even say goodbye. I'm still no higher up on the popularity scale but that doesn't really bother me. Melissa was the only one to stay behind and help me clear up. We had some breakfast and tidied up until 1pm. I was almost glad that Melissa hadn't been drinking because I didn't want her to turn out like my dad and get aggressive. Then, Melissa helped me make lunch. After that, we got bored of tidying and watched some TV instead. Melissa satyed with me for most of the day and left about 7:30pm. She told me her mum wasn't the sort to worry too much. She knew that Melissa had been at a party and had probably assumed she had fallen asleep on the couch or something.
   I've been tidying up almost obsessively for most of yeaterday and today. I'm starting to worry that I might have missed something. If my parents notice that anything is out of place, I'm a dead kid!

God Bless

They've Gone

THEY'VE GONE! THEY'VE GONE! They've finaly gone! I am home alone with absolutely nothing to worry about! Sorry, I just had to let that out. I've almost been dancing up the walls since yesterday. I triend to post yesterday but I couldn't sit still for long enough! The house feels so empty without anyone in it. I feel a bit lonely sometimes but then I remember my usual company and the problem is solved! I don't want to write much more just now, I'm going to have some fun! I have absolutely no I dea what I'm going to do when I'm here all by myself but I can do anything I want! I'm so EXCITED!!!!!

God Bless x :)

Parents Are In Spain

I'm soooo excited! It's the October week which means my parents are flying off the Spain for 10 days! Isn't it awesome! They're leaving tomorrow morning! I'm going to be completely abuse free for 10 whole days! I've never been so excited in all my life. I said I was going to wait until after Hallowe'en to run away and I stand by that especially because now I get to spend 10 whole days in my house without getting yelled at or laid into by ANYONE!!!!!
   Sorry, I got a little bit carried away but I can't help it. This is definately my favourite time of year. Mo school, no parents and nothing to worry about. I'm not worried about being alone, they leave me every year and I know how to take care of myself. I can cook, clean, chill out. I can do pretty much anything I want! I'm hoping money isn't going to be a problem. It shouldn't be but if it is I can alwsys find something to eat. I mean, I've lived rough before so this is going to be like heaven.
   I've always wondered what it would be like to go to heaven. I don't think I'll ever get there. I've been a very bad child  to my parents to make them hate me so much. I don't actually remember what it was but I must have done something! And I'm always running away so that has to go down on the list of bad things. Does "being born" count as a bad thing; because my dad sometimes yells that he wishes I'd never been born. I don't suppose getting born was my fault so that shouldn't count as a bad thing against me.

God Bless

They Found Me

Damn it!!!
   I'm back again. The police picked me up a couple of hundred miles away yesterday afternoon. Honestly, I'm so gutted. I've still got my backpack and everything in it so I'll try again as soon as they aren't really alert and aren't expecting me to run away. I'll wait until after Hallowe'en and then make a break for it.
   I've also got a problem. I accidentally let slip to Melissa about the abuse. I didn't mean it, she sort of manipulated me. She started asking all these questions and I said something that made her really suspicious. I honestly didn't mean to tell her but now she wants to know all the details. I don't want to relive it all with her and I need some advice on how to convince her I was lying. She says that if I don't tell her, she's going to tell one of the teachers.
   Also, if I run away again she'll know why. She'll tell someone and if the police pick me up and take me back home, I'll get the living daylights kicked out of me again. I only have tonight to figure out a solution to this withut losing the only friend I have.

God Bless

Leave A Comment

One more thing before I go. I've noticed that there is someone in Ireland who reads my blog a lot. I'd like to thank them for their support and urge them to leave a comment with feedback. I have a question for this person. Do you have a blog? I'd like to read it if you do. Please leave me the web address in a comment (if you decide to leave one) and I'll get back to you.
   One again, thank you soooo much. Bye.

May God Bless You

I'm Leaving Tonight

Stuff waiting until after Christmas! I'm getting out of here tonight. I've got everything I need and I am ready to leave as soon as everyone falls asleep tonight. I at least had the decency to write them a note explaining everything but I had a hard time writing it. I know exactly what to say on here but when I started writing that letter, my mind went blank. I had absolutely no idea what I was going to say. In the end, I wrote about how what they had done to me was wrong and that I felt really bad about it. It ended up baing much shorter than I intended but I think I got my point across.
   I can't wait for tonight. I've planned sooo carefully this time; I don't want anything to go wrong. I'd be gutted if I was found the next morning. I know the odds are a million-to-one but I live in hope of finally escaping. There are lots of backstreets around where I live and I've explored them lots of times so I should be able to make my way along those and stop for a sleep in this old warehouse that's falling to bits. It's about 23 miles away but I've walked further than that before. Besides, the further away I get tonight, the better chance I have of staying away for longer.
   I plan to sleep for most of the morning there and move on again at around lunchtime. My parents won't notice I'm gone until around teatime so that should give me the chance to get a good few miles away. I've got plenty of food and water because I know I'll be travelling across countryside from time to time. But, I have tried very hard not to bring anything but the everyday essentials (The Bare Necessities!) and I think I've done quite well.
   Anyway, I'm going to leave you now and try to get some sleep now so that I'm ready and alert for later. I've set my alarm for midnight but even though my parents won't go to bed until about two. This should give me enough time to put on lots of clothes and make sure I have everything ready. I'm sorry about this but you might not hear from me for a while for obvious reasons because it would be too risky to show my face in very public places until I've gotten quite far away and the whole "missing person" thing has died down a little.

Wish me luck!

May God Bless You Always And Forever

HPV Vaccination

Thank goodness school's over for the weeked! I don't think I can take anymore of the silent mocking me behind my back. Honestly, all I did was panic a little when I had to get an injection. Okay, I paniced a LOT but I still went through with it. Ivy didn't. She simply refused; telling everyone that she wouldn't follow anyone else and that she wanted to be different.
   Sorry, I'm not explaining myself very well. I got my HPV Vaccination today and I was quite scared. This is due to things which have happened in the past that I would rather not mention, so please don't ask. I did get my injection but, like I said, Ivy refused to. She was scared. I could see that but she just insisted that she was being different.
   I've decided that it wouldn't be safe for me to leave home until after Christmas because this is the time of year my parents have to work a lot late at night because the company gets lots of orders this time of year. You know, people wanting to have a laugh at a Christmas party. Anyway, I wouldn't be able to sneak out of the house during the night if they are not here because they will want to "see" me as soon as they come in to make me sorry for everything I've ever done wrong.
   I've sort-of started wondering if going back into care would be such a bad thing. Even if I was seriously considering it, I don't know how I would go about it. You have to remember that the authorities have me down as a lier, a runaway and a troublemaker. They consider my parents to be loving and caring people who obviously think the world of me. I can't compete with that.
   I'm open to suggestions so please get in touch. I'm desperate. Thank you soo much!!!

God Bless Your Lives